Britain is an island nation so, unsurprisingly, scuba diving is a popular British pastime enjoyed by some 50,000 keen participants and just as many of the armchair variety. A carefully-structured programme of training ensures that the British diver is well-­prepared for the challenging conditions which may be encountered beneath our seas.

Or does it? How many trainee divers were taught about the perils of high-speed testicular trauma during descent? Or the dangers of having sex in a tent with a deaf person? Why bacon should be in your first aid kit. How to build a space shuttle using salvaged ammunition? Or why the name Valerie is so very special?

During a 40 year plus odyssey through the strange and exotic world of British diving, Nick Lyon and his disparate collection of buddies have answered all these questions from personal experience, and many more besides. It may not be pretty, it may not be painless but to those in the know, it's real British diving.

This is not a diving manual -- quite the opposite. How not to do it, why not to do it, when not to do it and who not to do it with. Amusing, frequently embarrassing, often unpleasant and occasionally tragic, the book plunges into the world of the real British diver