This informative and helpful guide will assist your clients in making positive strides toward a nonviolent life. Some of the tips and suggestions that are further explained in this workbook include:
Acknowledge to yourself and to others that you have a problem with anger, abuse, and control
Address mental health and chemical use issues if they are present in your life
Come to know that, when you become abusive, you are always feeling inadequate, powerless, and unlovable
Realize that controlling and abusive behavior hurts you and those you love
Understand that anger is different from abuse and control
Recognize that becoming abusive is always a choice
Instead of blaming others, take responsibility for what you feel, how you think, and how you act
Accept that you cannot control or change other people
Remember that you can always take a time-out
Think about the possible consequences before you become controlling and abusive
Identify what triggers your anger and your abusive and controlling attitudes and behaviors
Notice what you are thinking: Your thoughts can increase your escalation or calm you down
Become aware of all your feelings, not just your anger, and learn to respectfully communicate them to others
Turn conflicts into positive problem-solving opportunities
Control, abuse, and violence are learned: Think about the messages you received from your family and from society about what it is to be a man
Redefine manhood as nonviolent and nonabusive
Take the risk to count on other men for emotional support
Learn to feel a genuine sense of pride by taking control of how you view the world and how you act
Start to believe that you can truly change the controlling and abusive parts of who you have been
