SURVIVAL TIPS FOR SONS OF SERIAL KILLERS

1. Change your last name. Be forgettable.

2. Take comfort. Serial killing is not hereditary. Not usually, anyhow.

3. Never contact your parents, whether on Death Row or elsewhere. You are messed up enough.

4. Choose a dull career. Run an ice cream parlor, for instance.

5. Do not fall in love. Sooner or later, she will ask to meet your mom and dad.

6. Trust no one. Not even her.

7. Do not get married. It cannot end well.

8. Keep what you know to yourself. You were just a kid, after all.

9. Do not return to your boyhood home. No one has forgotten anything.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR READERS: Watch your back. Lock your doors. Be courteous to everyone. Yes, everyone. This is your only warning.