As an adolescent, Russell's face and neck would turn crimson at the slightest thing. In his twenties he began suffering from an extreme form of blushing (idiopathic craniofacial erythema). It sent out all the wrong signals -- to friends, family and to the opposite sex. And it triggered something worse: Social Anxiety Disorder.
Up to one in 10 people develop this irrational fear of other human beings. From university to the workplace, Russell desperately tried to hide his secret from everyone. In an attempt to be 'normal, ' he grabbed every remedy going, from drugs to herbs to bottles of absinthe.
Through trial and error, he discovered a way to overcome social anxiety and live a fulfilling and rich life.
By turns wry and shocking, dark and optimistic, Redface is the eye-opening true story of how one man found his own way forward in a world built for others. It will fascinate readers who are socially anxious, their friends and family, and anyone who wants to know what it's like to travel to the edge of human experience and back. Read this memoir and discover how to conquer your social anxiety and learn how to be yourself.
Extract
Chapter 1: Closed Door
I'm hovering just in front of a closed door. It's in the office building where I work. I can see through the window of the door into the room beyond it. I'm listening carefully for approaching voices. As soon as another person comes into view, I'll have to make a snap decision: commit and go through that door or abort and quickly walk away from it, surreptitiously double back at some point, then try to hold my nerve for a second attempt. I've been doing this in secret for my entire career and if I could calculate exactly how much time I've lost in this state of limbo, all the seconds, minutes and hours spent holding back in hallways or pacing back and forth just behind closed doors, it might add up to a lifetime. And a waste of one.
Because there's nothing out of the ordinary on the other side of those doors.... meeting rooms, breakout spaces, team and coffee points, just spaces designed to help people work together. But people is the key word. On the other side of every door there will be people. People I know. People who know me. People I'm about to meet. People who've yet to meet me. And once I'm on the other side there's no turning back.
...
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is formally classed as a mental disorder, which affects millions of people worldwide - and up to 10% of the UK population. It can manifest itself in many ways. Symptoms often surface as secondary phobias, ranging from a fear of eating or writing in front of others to a fear of being watched in a public bathroom. For me, social anxiety plays out on my skin... Its symptom is called Idiopathic Craniofacial Erythema, which means uncontrollable and unprovoked facial blushing. They are the evil twins who constantly embarrass me.
If you have social anxiety, this book is for you.
If you've never heard of social anxiety, this book is for you.
I've been quietly avoiding people all my life, hesitating behind a door. But I'm pushing that door wide open now. And I'm coming through it.
